Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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