I'm so fucking centered right now
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
