I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize