I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
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