He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
