is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
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