I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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