after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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