Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Randomize
