Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
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