I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
