it glows. i had to have it.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
