New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
