You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
