Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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