Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
