There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
