i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
