He asked to "fluff my boner.."
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
