tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
