In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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