Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
