At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize