There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
