You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
