is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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