Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
