How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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