hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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