so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
