he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
