The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
