Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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