to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
