Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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