I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
