Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
