I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
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