If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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