bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
