C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
