when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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