That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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