My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
