is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
