we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
