Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Randomize
