am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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