wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
