Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
