Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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