Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
