Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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