You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
