you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
