after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
