I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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