i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
