What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
