I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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