I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
