okay pat passed out under dana's car
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
My breasts were aching with rage.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
