I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
