So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
