He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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