Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
