Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
